Lisa Miles:

How many engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None, they're all too busy trying to design a light bulb that never needs changing.


or my all time favourite:

None, they simply redefine darkness as the industry standard. ?

You're missing out the consultant engineers there, Lisa


How many consultants does it take to change a lightbulb?

Don't know we'll get back to you after Easter with an estimated fee. We think it'll be a team of six to conduct an analysis of your business model showing that the work done by this light bulb could be distributed amongst the bulbs in adjoining spaces in a strategic illumination restructuring process. From there we can decide if it needs changing.


Consultant - a person not usually being a part of the solution but astute enough to realise that there is good money to be made in prolonging the problem.


OMS

It is similar here.

We'd normally suggest a requirements capture phase, with an interim report outlining a number of possible alternatives, with tables and graphs to show the projected outcome of adopting different options.


The actual bulb changing we'd nominally subcontract to one  of our approved contractors, although that will depend on customer budget remaining after the study phase. If this is tight that may need to take the form of an early pilot or a proof-of-concept trial, using our recommended 15 step procedure for safe isolation and possible working at height,  perhaps with  a lower wattage lamp, closely monitored, later to be followed by a more complete roll out in the next financial year, assuming this is justified by the pilot.


Unless it's at home, where I would  just get a spare bulb out of the shoe box in the cupboard and stand on a dining chair for the 15 seconds or so it takes.  If I can't remember if the switch is on or off I may use a clean handkerchief to hold the glass.

Q----how many mental health professionals does it take to change a light bulb.

A----only one, but they have to be satisfied that the light bulb WANTS to change.