Starting a new productive relationship is all about finding some common ground separate from the task at hand. This helps build rapport, is something else to talk about so that it doesn’t feel to them like you are just “on their back” about work. People are much more likely to do things for people they like. If you take an interest in their interests, they will start to like you.
I agree with you entirely. I am now retired but managed various departments with good results which I always put down to this. However, my management often thought I was not acting as a "proper" manager and should be more dictatorial. It is not easy and can really take it out of you maintaining a friendly working relationship, but for me it was the best way by far.
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