This discussion is locked.
You cannot post a reply to this discussion. If you have a question start a new discussion

60% of male managers feel uncomfortable participating in work activities with women

I came across this article today which has some very alarming statistics in it. The article discusses the results of a survey from LeanIn.org which found that senior-level men say they are:
  • 12 times more likely to be hesitant about one-on-one meetings with a junior woman than they are a junior man

  • 9 times more likely to be hesitant to travel with a junior woman for work than a junior man, and

  • 6 times more likely to be hesitant to have a work dinner with a junior woman than a junior man.


Read more at: https://www.cnbc.com/2019/05/17/60percent-of-male-managers-now-say-theyre-uncomfortable-mentoring-women.html


The article discusses these findings in relation to being a possible consequence of the #MeToo and Time’s Up movements, which they imply may have had a negative impact on relationships between men and women at work. This is countered by suggestions that any man who doesn’t want to have work dinners with a woman should also not have work dinners with a man. Instead, they should have group dinners so that everyone is included. But at a group dinner, is it harder to be heard if you have a new idea you want to pitch or have some personal thoughts you want to discuss?


Has the workplace changed following the #MeToo and Time's Up movements? Are men more wary of coming across in the wrong way? And is this affecting women's access to mentorship programmes or other opportunities?


I would be interested to know if anyone here has felt reluctant to have one-to-one meetings, work dinners or make travel arrangements with colleagues/managers/employees of the opposite sex? Do you feel more comfortable with colleagues of the same gender or is it irrelevant to you? Or does it depend on the relative seniority of the people involved?


  • To be honest Amber, I can completely understand why men are reluctant to be in any kind of 121 environment with a woman these days given the amount of bad press lately!


    It's not easy being a man in these modern times... Completely between a rock and a hard place...


    It's all well and good for Sheryl Sandberg to call it "totally unacceptable" but I really can't blame them for not wanting to put themselves in the line of fire or leave themselves open for accusations of wrong doing.


    The opinion that there should be 'group dinners' instead? Utterly ridiculous....  ?

  • Lisa Miles:

    To be honest Amber, I can completely understand why men are reluctant to be in any kind of 121 environment with a woman these days given the amount of bad press lately!

     




    But do you think it depends on the age or the seniority of the people involved? Would a junior man feel as hesitant about having a work dinner with their female boss? I doubt it. Would a 50 year old male manager feel more comfortable having a work dinner with a 50 year old female employee than they would an 18 year old female employee? Quite possibly. They would still be in a 1-2-1 situation, but the balance of power would arguably be different in either of these situations.



     I really can't blame them for not wanting to put themselves in the line of fire or leave themselves open for accusations of wrong doing.



    The flip side of this argument is a junior female employee refusing to have a 1-2-1 with her male manager because she doesn't want to be in a situation in which wrong doing could happen. But at work, a junior person does not have the luxury of refusing a meeting, whereas a senior employee does. We all have responsibilities at work that are external to our personal attributes. Surely if you are a manager, one of the duties in your job description is to know what your employees are doing and that involves having catch-ups with your staff (male and female). If you are an employee, you have a duty to update your boss on the projects you are working on.


    If these figures are true and reflective of work-based attitudes, then perhaps employers need to put other systems in place, for example having break out spaces in open plan offices where people can meet, rather than having to go into a meeting room with a closed door. But I do agree with the article insofar as if a manager doesn't want to have a 1-2-1 with a female employee, he should be consistent with his male employees and find another way to keep abreast of what's going on in his team (eg. written reports, phone calls etc.). I don't know what the work-around would be for travel situations! If you need to travel for work, you need to travel for work, no?

  • I think it's the power imbalance that is key, the untoward element is not so much that they might be seen to have had intimate relatiosn (even if nothing happened) but that it might be viewed as he has explicitly or implicitly used his power to coerce her into those assumed intimate relations.  There's also the fact that were they to have consentsual relations then even if he did not use his seniority to get consent then she might feel that due to his senioprity she had to consent (the "Yes I consented but only because I felt I had to" situation). 


    There's a series of adverts currently on social media (might be on traditional media as well) about sports coaches having sex with young sports people they are training, whcih is legal despite teachers benign barred from sex with their students even if the student is of age and close in age to the teacher (e.g. a sixth former and a newly qualified teacher may only be 3-4 years apart in age).  One of the situations decscribed is a female athlete pointing out that her coach decides if she gets picked for tournaments and srts up meetings with sponsors so she feels that if she doesn't go along with his wishes then she won't get picked or shown to sponsors.  Similarly your boss is the one who decides who gets the training and experience they need for promotion, you may feel implicitly pressured even if he gives no hint.


    I don't think a junior man would feel the same concerns about dinner with a senior woman.  I think this is largely down to the different ways men and women are viewed and the different motivatiosn ascribed to them.  Men are still seen as predatory sexual beasts who are incapable of a platonic or professional relationship with a woman, where as women (especiually older women) are still viewed as largely disinterested in sex; hence a man alone with a younger woman is viewed as only interested in havign sex with her whereas a woman alone with a younger man is viewed as only interested in mothering him.
  • Former Community Member
    0 Former Community Member
    I was recently at a workshop run by a trade union on sexual harassment. What came through very clearly is that harassment happens when there is a power imbalance of any kind, and it's not something you can simply point the finger at only men for. Men will likely be harassed if they're in a work environment dominated by women (there are far fewer of such workplaces, so women are still getting harassed more).


    Contrary to popular belief, men rarely have anything to fear. False accusations are rare, and even when there is an incident women rarely report them. I feel like the backlash from men towards #metoo is an overreaction and, call me cynical, a means to shift the debate from women talking about their experiences in the workplace to paranoid albeit innocent men making out that they are the real victims here.


    I say all of this as someone who's the only man in a team of 12! I'm not concerned. 


    I'd suggest reading this article and attached guidance: https://www.prospect.org.uk/help-at-work/support-advice/sexual-harassment